A simplified take on Bowen family systems mapping. With three or more parties, watch for triangulation — tension between two of them getting routed through (or dumped on) the third instead of resolved directly.
The gateway
Enabling Elements
Relate & Signal
Without sufficient rapport, trust, or open communication, negotiators skip past the value-creating work — positions harden, interests stay hidden, options never get invented. Relationship sets the tone; communication is the medium through which every other element moves.
Integrative bargaining
Value Creating Elements
Interests · Create · Criteria
Interests are the motivations beneath stated positions. Surfacing them enables creative option generation and expands the pie. Criteria exist beyond the will of either party, depersonalizing the decision. On the compass, Options and Criteria share a single arrow — the Pareto frontier.
The fork in the road
Value Claiming Elements
Alternatives & Commitment
Alternatives are what a party will do unilaterally if there is no agreement. Commitment is what the parties agree to if there is one. “Take it or leave it” gestures at both — and on the compass, that's literally the fork: Take (SE) or Leave (SW). When we jump here too early, we often can’t return to the value-creating conversation.
